Different people different lives

I feel tired but my thoughts can find no rest. I should be looking at job adds from NZ but while I'm doing that my thoughts wander.I think about all the things that were and the things that will not be. I have improved my running and some days I feel like that is the only thing I can control. I can't control when I want to be happy and when I'm sad. It just happens - especially the sad part and I wonder Will I ever be really happy again? I am damaged goods like Mike said.

The other day I walked the streets and looked at and listened to all the people. Some people where laughing and kissing on the streets, eating icecream with their families or roller skating. From the open windows I could hear people practising their acting skills and people arguing. A young woman was sitting in her window smoking a cigarette. She had that sad smile on and I wondered what had happened to her. I looked at her and she gave me a smile but her eyes did not smile. I realised that I'm not the only one feeling hurt and alone but at the same time I really wanted to see the beauty in life and her smile gave me that. I just have to try a little bit harder now to see it. I haveto remember that even though we are so different and leed so different lives we still feel and those feelings have the right to be accepted and seen as something beautiful and strong because that is what brings us together. Without it we stand alone. I don't want to stand alone.