The other day I booked my ticket for New Zealand. Different thoughts are going through my mind why I'm doing this for the 4th time in 3 years. Some days it is very clear to me why while other days I feel more insecure then ever. I'm not quite sure what I wanna achieve with this trip except I wanna give myself room to think about life and my new plans.
Damn it! Some days are just harder then others!
Today was one of those days making me feel so ambivalent about everything because we were at the rugby club and all the girls met for brunch before the game. Introducing and saying hello to the new girls. It was really good to feel like one of them but at the same time it was just different because my man is not playing out there anymore and after the game all the other girls go home with their man and I don't. Some days it is so hard to talk about Reuben because he is not here anymore but at the same time it helps to keep his memory alive. The memory that is still so strong and around us on and off the pitch. To have and then to lose something so beautiful. It is just too hard to try and understand. So I don't and just try and believe in love and the good that happens around us all the time.
We know and have believed the love which God has for us. God is love, and he who remains in love remains in God, and God remains in him. 4:17In this love has been made perfect among us, that we may have boldness in the day of judgment, because as he is, even so are we in this world. 4:18There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear has punishment. He who fears is not made perfect in love. 4:19We love Him, because he first loved us.
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